i was going to write and diagram mens room etiquette stuff but then the larry craig debacle happened.. and i was waiting for things to air out before posting about it… and the other is.. there are rules and then there are the ‘rules’ and you don’t talk about some of this… but here goes
the thing is.. you learn early on that there are rules and unsaid rules about going to the restroom as a man…
unlike women who go to the ladies room to talk about how cute the guy at the bar is… and chat it up… going to the mens room has 3 purposes… get the number 1 or number 2 going on… and let loose the gas … you know.. the f word.. and vomitting
growing up.. you learn quickly by observing the behaviour of other people and following suit… no questions… just do what everyone else is doing
so men… this is a refresher on the ‘rulesand for you ladies.. this should give you some perspective on why the larry craig thing is so creepy and way beyond the norn
no eye contact — never look at somebody.. give the obligatory nod and move on. you are not there to make friends
dont look down — look straight ahead or straight forward.. looking down gives off weird vibes about you checking the other guys package out
spacing — do not stand right next to another person if there is a way to leave at least 1 urinal in between… the more spaces the better. it is better to use a stall with a door if urinal spacing is an issue or there is a long wait or potential for shoulders touching (ick) .. also limits cross urinal splash back…
no talking — nuff said
no squeezing in between others — this means that if there are 5 urinals, and #1 and number #3 are being used.. then you do not go to #2 … way weird vibes. #4 is still marginal .. go to #5
pee downward — peeing straight into the urinal will cause splash back that looks like you pissed your pants
so.. you can start to see why the craig thing is so whack… more like george michael story than mishap…
for those with kids.. shield the eyes as much as possible and keep them from looking around too much… especially if you are at a broncos game .. and they have the trough style piss wall… make sure that you prepare your chil’ren first and make sure they are ready for something like a pg-13 movie…. nothing as pleasant as exposing your kids to 40 guys pissing together intos something like a kitchen sink
that is as much as i can write for now.. cause i am gonna go throw up now (purpose #3 …)
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25 Sep 2007 at 5:50 pm
tulips4me
Oh my! I have 3 male children. I have been known to comment on how great it is that I cannot take them to a public bathroom any longer because they are too old and now my hubby has this job. I think after reading your post, they are going to start coming with me to the ladies room again. Do you think anyone will notice my 5′11″ 15 year old in the ladies room?