You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘funny’ category.

so… there was a wwe wrestling parody of hillary and barack as wrestlers and bill making comments from ring side…

the pant suit, the ears, just funny

‘can you smell what barack is cookin?’
‘hey.. don’t touch her, she has not had a man touch her in years’
‘i did not have illegal contact with that canidate’

check it… and watch it in HD

not sure if it was intentional cleverness or happenstance .. but noticed the ad on the opponents penalty box was funny

you decide

no joke… i saw 2 full grown, slightly overweight men… with a ladder that… when retracted was over 10 ft…

no that is not the joke

based on the title… you may be picturing what i saw

these 2 low hanging fruit nuggets tried going _through_ the revolving door in the lobby of my office building _with_ the ladder

well the first guy gets in.. and WHAM! … ladder hits with a sharp metal on metal ping… and then picture this dufus… stuck in the revolving door, the guy behind him dropping the other end.. maybe laughing but freaked out… and then them trying to figure out that the door does not revolve the other way. and the guy inside trying to brute force his way through.. and with each push and recoil, his end of the ladder is slipping toward the floor

there is a growing crowd and we are pointing and laughing… on the inside, cause doing so out loud would be rude. they finally figure out that they can shimmy the ladder out and he can go out and his dork buddy can use the side door

to show that i am not much higher fruit… image me.. heading home… with laptop bag on, and an extra large pizza.. ok… a cube in a circle… usually works if the slice of my revolving door world is big enough.. well.. this time… it was a tight squeeze… it would have been ok.. but the revolving door at this buildingis automatic.. cause we are too lazy to push.. well the door was moving a tad too fast for me to adjust the box in time and caught one corner on the outside wall.. and starts to slide up… i moved fast enough that it looked like one of those ‘caught myself after tripping on the sidewalk’ moments.. and kepts moving…

what is the funniest thing you have tried getting through a revolving door

matt roloff of ‘little people, big world’ (show on tlc about a dwarf family) fame was arrested on a dui

before we move to making a bunch of short jokes… we need to see how even tlc patronizes and hates on the short people


note the button right under ‘meet matt roloff’ .. 😉 .. note that i used ‘full size’ option when uploading the picture too .. hehe

well.. some mean and un-pc comments might be…

– how drunk was he.. and then you say.. this drunk.. and you only mark up to your knees
– did he drink all half-pints
– how did he reach the pedals
-during the sobriety test… he walks all funny anyway.. how did they fugure he wasweaving
– instead of a 12 step program.. do dwarfs have 6 step programs

but we are good and wholesome.. so we won’t ask those questions

i played in whitewater for the first time this past weekend… and as we are approaching easter… they played a video that at first had me laughing so hard that i was almost not ready for the first song….

it is based on the terry tate – office linebacker commercials that reebok did… where a big guy tackles guys in the cubicles for not refilling the coffee, or playing solitaire.. etc…

you can watch some of it here at the sermon spice site… watch easter linebacker 

bringing some of that real easter spirit to ya… booyah style

it is wednesday.. and i am still laughing at an snl skit… snl was actually good for a change this past week with peyton manning…

here is the skit that cracked me up… the other side of united way athletes..

i drove home today to find that i was tailing a police car into my neighborhood… i was going slow just to keep my space from him.. but on my round about.. the cop slowed and was parking across the street… i thought it was weird.. and got the car into the garage…  i got out of the car to see the cop car making a u-turn and parking right in front of my driveway…  i am freaked out at this point.. as the officer is walking up my driveway toward me

he asks if i know about the burglary call from my house… now i am really freaked out as my son was home but he was not answering when i called his name…

i did a quick run thru in the house and the tv was on.. but nobody was there… and my son was not answering…

i went back out to the officer and verified that the call had come from our house… and he did… so i am really worried now.

the officer says that the call came from the house and there was something stolen and the person that had called knew who took it… like electronics or something… so i am thinking that a neighbor kid had taken a gameboy or something…

as i round the side of the house.. my son is coming with his skateboard and a pepsi (he must have been coming from his uncles house… who lives a few blocks away) … so i am relieved and then the questions start….

who, what, why….

well.. my son had gone upstairs and seen papers on the floor in my room and thought that it looked like someone had ransacked the room…

he called the cops and got out of the house and went over to my brothers…

so.. he basically did almost everything right..

the issue was that he had been watching the tlc show called ‘it takes a thief’ recently… and was watching the show alone and got spooked…. he thought the papers on the floor looks way out of place in my room.. but did not realize that i had been working the night before and had not picked up like normal

as the officer was a dad of one of my sons friend… he was understanding about the false alarm… but that was not how i wanted to come home today…

i don’t think that he will be watching that show anymore… i am gonna block it on tivo or something

this is more cause of my stint in pharmacy … actually… it bugs me in everyday life.. pronunciation of words/names/drugs

we used to make fun of all of the refill requests that were left at university hospital… people not even coming close to the real name of the medication…

there were recently a couple of crime/legal shows i watch(boston legal, law and order:svu and csi:ny) that tackled the use of propranolol — for preventing short term memory from being imprinted… and using it for post traumatic stress disorder… it is actually a beta blocker and generally used for cardiac issues… but i have been on it before for migraines … either way… they both said it different…. and csi: ny had it wrong

it was the classic case of putting the eeem-faa-cess on the wrong see-la-bul

propranolol – should sound like [proh-pran-uh-lawl, -lol] instead… they kept saying [pro-pran-ol-lull] putting emphases on pro- instead of -pran-

made me mad toward the end of the show….

another is a radio plug for tinitis.. and the guy saying [tin-it-tuss] instead of [tin-ite-tis] … it is still ringing in my head

finally.. my wifes name is mimi… classic french name… sounds like [mee-mee] …. but we actually were at mimi’s cafe… and the waitress calls out… [may-may] like some southern drawl type thing all slow… but it wasn’t… it was cause we were asian… and the girl was trying to figure out how the name would sound if you were in the far east or something… we just looked at her sad self … and i guess we just have to blame public education… cause she believes she pronounced it right… she gets a gold star in her outcome based portfolio

my kids are taking swimming classes and as part of that… they had to go get new suits

my fashion princess daughter was up and as they browsed the selection… they happened up on some 2 piece suits that were probably… no definatley not age appropriate

In one of those classic kid moments… my daughter turns to my wife and says ‘i don’t think dad would like these too much’

she ended up getting a nice 1 piece suit

i guess raising a proverbs 23rd type daughter is gonna be harder than it looks… at least she realized that i would be not so pleased with her wearing un-modest swimming suits and just clothes in general… i guess i did a decent job of putting the puritan fear into her head… either that or my scowl when she looks at things like that was a pavlovian bell that went off in her head

i look at all of the girl toys and stuff that flood the minds of these little girls and it is worse than the soft core pr0n of the 80s… bratz dolls and barbies are even more objectifiers of women… and that is the climate that i have to worry about… not the climate change al gore is spewing…

or should i say …. junk ‘on’ the trunk …

ok.. that is not what it sounds like… it was just a sight that made me laugh… i just like a clean car.. especially after a storm… there is nothing like a shiny car in the sea of dirt and splash back caked cars..

nice shiny black mercedes convertible coming up on the right of me… after i had gotten a car wash… well it was very clear that this car went through one of those automatic gas station car washes… as it has a nice dirt streak … like dirty underwear… right in the middle of the trunk… junky trunk?

how is it that the car wash thingies do not go all the way around a small car like that?

the thing is.. there was a report that the magnesium chloride that they use as a de-icer on the roads will eat away at your car.. like salt out east… so… why exactly are we using mag chloride? is it cheaper .. no. the corn syrupy gunk is just nasty… and so they announced on the radio that you should wash it off as soon as possible.. car wash lobbiests are doing their job well..

well.. after some disappointing $8 gas station car washes… where the mag chloride leaves a nice film on the windshield… i have swore off the automatic car washes… i took it to one of those hand drying … vacuum for you places…. and it was like $3 more than that stupid gas station place.. and you get a complete dry… they treat your tires… they wipe down all of the windows… they vacuum… well worth it.

i just don’t want the dirt streak that looks like a crack… on my trunk…

so.. in the middle of the first quarter of the last nuggets game against sacramento… steve blake was elbowed in the grill and was bleeding all over the place…

he came back in the second with a bandaid across his upper lip… a big bandaid

i was not able to find a picture of him in the papers or on the nuggets site with the bandaid face.. so i made my own.. here is it..


well.. it was funny looking… but the weird part was… he has those eyes.. those lids that fall just a bit like hitler or a bald groucho marx… i don’t want to say it.. but … he looked like hitler… as the middle of the bandaid hit the center of his upper lip just so… i am not saying hitler is funny… just that steve blake looked funny with the bandaid over his lip.. that made him look like hitler.. and this is not a knock on steve blake like he is some sort of racist… cause i don’t have information to tell me that he is.. it just looked really really funny everytime they zoomed in on his face

too bad if he gets traded… cause he has been playing really well the last few games… best in his career… and the nuggets don’t need yet another change


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