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it is wednesday.. and i am still laughing at an snl skit… snl was actually good for a change this past week with peyton manning…

here is the skit that cracked me up… the other side of united way athletes..

we have the du-pont stainmaster stuff on the carpets.. so we should be good on spills and such.. but tell that to a toddler.

my brothers family was over for some dinner and watching some showed that we had saved on the tivo for them…

my nephew is 2. and since he is expecting his brother in a few months.. he has been craving attention.. without having to point to his moms belly and saying baby…

well he went into a coughing spell and then had a projectile vomit event (pve)… we were lucky and had bowls out for some treats and was able to catch most of it… but some got on the carpet. we started laughing about it.. and that was the mistake.. he thought it was a game or something we enjoyed

every 15 minutes or so.. he would start coughing and then vomiting. all over everywhere… the carpet.. the wood floors in the kitchen… the carpet stairs…. and the pièce de résistance…. after doing some on the stairs.. we my son had brought over a bowl and had put it down on the floor in the family room… my nephew crawls over… on all fours over the bowl.. and proceeds to vomit again… but missing the bowl completely

i am so glad that i shop at costco.. we had cans of that spotshot stuff for the carpet and some nice wood cleaner

we thought we were done after 2 clothes changes.. a bath… wearing some of my sons old pajamas… and at this point.. the pve count was at 5.

well as he was getting up from his last clothes change.. he pushes a pizza box over into a cup of soda… and you guessed it.. cup spills on the carpet

it was so funny… and kind of scary…. i had forgotten that kids and hold 50% of their body weight in vomit …. yikes.

just glad we paid extra for that carpet protection

part 2 of the english to korean to engrish to koreum to konglish — this is horrible.. and to think that people use this as a method to translate things for business .. scary… or should i .. wait.. i don’t know what to say.. fix it google/bablefish/rosetta stone/whatever translator you are using .. you can’t just tag everthing beta or charge hundreds of dollars .. cause your non-beta translation suck just as bad ..

you can actually buy your own translation sweat shop slave .. cause all the koreans learn english.. and translation should be fine.. or just keep using the free online stuff that is pretty good for what it is.. but still

using a simple .. very well known nursery rhyme…

twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are

당신이 인 무슨을 나가 생각해 보는 방법, 반짝임, 반짝임, 적은 별. 하늘에 있는 다이아몬드 같이 세계의 위 높은 쪽으로 이렇게 높이. 당신이 인 무슨을 나가 생각해 보는 방법, 반짝임, 반짝임, 적은 별.

this person of you it goes out and the method which it tries to think, it glitters, it glitters, the enemy the star. the diamond which is to sky with the together up of the world it is like this high piece height. this person of you it goes out and the method which it tries to think, it glitters, it glitters, the enemy the star

 

당신 의 이 사람은 그것 나가고 생각하는 것을 시도하는 방법, 그것 빛난다, 적 별 빛난다. 세계의 함께 위로를 가진 하늘에 그것인 다이아몬드는 이 높은 조각 고도 같이 이다. 당신의 이 사람은 그것 나가고 생각하는 것을 시도하는 방법, 그것 빛난다, 적 별 빛난다

You this person goes out and it the method the fact that it thinks, it it shines, the enemy star it shines. The formation of a cabinet altitude where the diamond which is it in the sky which has together the comfort of the world is high together is. You this person goes out and it the method the fact that it thinks, it it shines, the enemy star it shines

hope you are not seeing a whole bunch of squares.. the science behind the translation is sweet.. but still needs some work

this is a test. this is a test of the google language tools. i am testing the translation of what i am writing to how it translate back from english to korean i blogged about the ‘lost in translation’ thing and how certain words and phrases are not translated properly.. i also want to see if you all have asian language support in your browsers.. lets see how good the translation is… or how funny it comes out you should also try to convert it back…

이것은 시험이다. 이것은 google 언어 공구의 시험이다. 나는 영어를 한국어로에서 어떻게에 후에 번역하는지 나가 쓰고 있는 무슨을의 번역을 시험하고 있다 나는 “번역”에서 잃어 것에 관하여 특정 낱말 및 어구가 제대로 번역되지 않는 방법 blogged. 나는 또한 당신은 모두 당신의 브라우저에 있는 아시아 언어 지원이 있는지 보고 싶다. 좋은 번역이… 인 얼마나 재미있은 나오는지 보게 한다 당신은 또한 그것을 후에 개조하는 것을 시도해야 한다…

then translated back

This is test. This is test of google language tools. I go out and with from the Korean language translate English how after bitter, i am and I which examine translation “lose from translation ” and regarding the thing the method blogged where the specific word and phrase are not well translated. Me also you the report which the Asia language support which is to all you browser probably is it wants. Good translation… How many is it is fun come out, you it does to see also must attempt the fact that it reorganizes it after,…

then translated back

이것 은 시험이다. 이것은 google 언어 공구의 시험이다. 나는 나가고 한국어 언어에서로 쓴 후에, 나가 인 번역을 “시험하고 I가 번역”와 번역된 특정한 낱말 및 어구가 좋이 어디에 아닌지 방법이 blogged 것 주시하기에서 잃는 방법 영어를 번역하십시오. 또한 저 당신 모두에 당신 브라우저인 아시아 언어 지원이 아마 그것인 보고가 원하는. 좋은 번역… 인지 얼마나 많은이 재미 나온다, 또한 보기 위하여 그것을 후에 개편한다 는 사실을 시도해야 하는,… 하는 당신이다

and the final obfuscation

This is test. This is test of google language tools. I go out and after writing from in Korean language language, i go out and the translation “i examine and I with translation ” word and the phrase which are specific it is translated [coh] the method which probably is not where stares blogged things, from, translate method English which it loses. Also writing you the Asia language support which all is you browser wants probably the report which is it. Good translation… How many probably is many this fun it comes out, in order to see also must attempt a fact after it reorganizes it,… It is you it does

omg!!! this is so funny.

actually.. i used to run things through multiple languages to write emails to random people and make them figure out what was happening…

so… when are we gonna be able to pay for pizzas with korean money.. or euros.. or even canadian dollars ?

i want to pay with the korean “won” for a supreme kimchi pizza with dog…

a pizza chain in aurora has announced that they are going to accept mexican pesos as payment.. there is also a chain in texas that is accepting pesos as well…what is the exchange rate anyway… 20,000 pesos for a personal sized pizza?

aside from all the free press they are getting.. they are working toward some kind of globalization that they can’t back… people come to this country to have a better life.. with that comes learning the language and following the traditions and doing at least the basics to fit into the new country you are in… not telling them to be not the country you crossed deserts and rivers to get into.  if you wanted mexico with better stuff and jobs.. then do it there.  i guarantee that you would be laughed out of any other country if you tried to setup shop that way…

what ever happened to having to go out to the airport to get foreign money exchanged..

this is discrimination.  where is the aclu when you need them… why is it just spanish that is offered as translations when you call places like a bank.  um.. if you opened an acct.. didn’t you have to fill out all that paperwork and stuff in english.. oh wait.. no you didn’t. they offer all their forms in english and spanish.  they send forms from my kids schools in english on the back side.. the front page is in spanish …

i have a fistful of won (paper and coinage) and i am jonesing for a slice ‘o pie.. so i challange you to do this…

stop going to fast food places that don’t have translated menus in your native tongue… or even your grandparents old world language.. and establishments start taking your foreign money and se hablo yo language..

you came to america for a better life… so speak at least american (yes.. there is a difference between english and american).  we all had to do it… we had to learn the language.. and once we did.. got into the ap classes and scored in the 95th percentile on sat and act exams… won spelling bees… went to college… to give our kids a better life.. better than our parents had it as new immigrants… and now we get this dumbed down… you don’t have to learn anything and you can spend money that any other country would have you go to the airport to get whatever the daily exchange rate was for your fist full of non-dollars.

i think you should only be able to spend non-dollars for the type of food you are getting…

pay with lira or euros for pizza
pay with yen for sushi
pay with yuan for takeout chinese
pay with rial for fessenjun
pay with pounds for pints + bangers and mash
pay with rupee for curry

you see…  that way.. since most of these restuarants are run by families that and money back to their own countries.. you would be saving them the exchange fees … since they can just send back the right kind of monies…

no pesos for pizza

we were at the nuggets game last night… booooooo … what a dull game .. the only highlight was that we had the entire suite that my wifes company owns… and iverson had one really awesome drive to the hoop…

well… 3rd qtr…. rocky the super mascot has a camera on the fans to dance…. gets up to the 3rd level and spots this white/nerdy guy. and right away.. he gets his funky groove on… and then out of nowhere.. lifts his shirt. a little.. and it is a hairy belly.. and the crowd is boooing and eeewwwwing… so rocky locks back in on him. guy starts dancing again.. and then lifts his shirt again…

what the heck.. is there some weird girls gone wild syndrome … where if you are on camera.. you are obligated to lift your shirt and show your man boobs?

well… it gets worse. the hairy man completely takes his shirt off… think chris farley doing the chippendale dance with patrick swayze… but much less funny.

the ewwing and icks start to build.. and for whatever reason.. the guy gets emboldened … and starts loosening his belt. .. this draws even more jeers but he keeps going.

it gets worse… he starts to unbutton and unzip his pants…. and starts acting like he is teasing us that he was gonna pull this draws down too…

he throws his shirt over the ledge.. and some catches it.. maybe thinking that they caught a free shirt.. and then realizing that it was from that freaky stripper dude on the 3rd level… and they quickly start throwing down to the court… as the shirt makes it to the court.. the cops finally get to the guy holding his arms to prevent him from dropping trou

although the most gross moment in the game… it was funny … just wonder where dignity and a sense of shame are.. do they go out the door with the $6 beers or is it that they are being seen… even on close caption.. wonder what this guy would hve done i he knew he was on national tv…

back in the day…. churches used to go out to their parishioners homes or a set block and engage in carolling .. both to the delight and dread of people being sung at… especially since we would start at like 8pm.. and end close to 11pm ish…

as a pk.. i had no choice.

as a member of a church that is fairly large… i am not sure how the logistics would work.. and maybe why we don’t see carolling anymore.

the megachurches have killed the ‘community’ aspect of church for a lot of people.. and have to resort to small groups to have people get involved… i am not sure if i prefer churches that are under 200 members.. maybe under 150…

it has been over a decade since i have gone carolling… and had the pleasure of throwing snowballs, hiding from, and yelling at carollers to get off my lawn… but give me the option.

like gift cards… i know some churches handed out cds with christmas themed music.. so they would not have to do the work or actually singing a song over and over and did i mention over again… in the cold, snow, icy, lawns and steps of people that you may or may not have known

why are we robbing these memories from our kids…. that don’t know general knowledge things… and have no idea of what happened or history beyond evn 5 years back… to the kids.. carollers are just in a christmas story… and in broken engrish in a christmas story .. while serving chinese turkey

if they gave spiders meth…

would they feel like bugs were crawling all over them?
would they feel like the black ants were after them?
would their fangs get all gross like those pictures of meth mouth?

and to answer a question in the comments…  yes. they have ‘stoned’ bees, ants, mice, etc…

i am with peta … people for the elicit tweaking of animals… (sorry.. that was bad .. i am going on 2 hrs of sleep)

i understand some of the blue laws that keep car dealerships and liquor stores closed on sundays.. but there are also places like chick-fil-a that are closed which i have always admired… but when you are jonesing for a chicken sammich … and they are closed… dang!

i know that chick-fil-a has the concept that they want their employees to have a day to worship and spend time with their families… but i want chick-fil-a after church… i want to take my kids and family to a restuarant that hands out christian themed or make you mo smarter ‘toys’ in their kids meal instead of useless junk…

i have a solution.

seventh day adventists and jewish employees… they worship and spend time with their families on saturday.. which leaves sunday as a day _they_ could work… and keep making chicken sandwiches… for me. also.. they can do what some mcdo drive-thrus do… the order is taken in another state (really) … so they can outsource the drivethru orders so the place can be run by 2 people making me my sammiches.  someplace in asia or eastern europe since it would be monday.. bulgarians are looking for work

lets start a letter writing campaign to get this going… how can we eat mor chiken if they are closed…. especially on a day that most people _want_ to support a christian centric company

to day is not only special because it is christmas (traditional celebration of jesus birth that was celebrated as alternative to winter solstice pagan ceremonies).. but also because it is my wifes birthday as well… i know better than to say how old she is… other than she is now the same age as me

happy happy birthday!

can you imagine growing up and getting shafted on gifts cause people would do combined xmas and birthday gifts? i hated that my my siblings and i were all 4 days apart (10th, 12th and 14th) so we always had a combo birthday party and maybe a combo gift.. like… uh… um… shoes from korea. that stopped after we started getting taller than 6′ and feet over size 10 tho.. weird that they would not have those sizes there 😉

we spent time with my in-laws (wifes parents and sisters family) and had a korean theme lunch… cause nothing says christmas like wontons, rice, spicy asparagus and squid… and then let all the cousins open gift.. we also had a keylime pie.. that my sister-in-laws .. mother-in-law makes.. mmm probably one of the best ever… and with fresh whipped cream. that filled in for b-day cake unfortunately.. i normally get her a cake from a korean bakery … but with the blizzard.. it was jut not possible to get down there the day before and sneak it over to where ever we end up having our christmas

now that the gifts have been had.. i can tell the tale

cashmere was the theme of my wifes presents… she did a little gentle clue dropping with… cashmere + macy’s

so… i go into macy’s… and started out in the wrong department. i know numbers for sizes.. so i started looking around.. and found a few things.. but hey looked a little wide. and the tags had a weird letter x next to them. i thought maybe i was in the hobbit section… x was never on any tags i had seen before… maybe a p for petite or something.. and then i asked this sales rep.. where are the cashmeres yo… and what does this x mean. she replied.. you are in the plus sized area… and that my wife would chuckle that i had started there (it was the first deppt from the parking lot) .. well as i sprinted away toward the petite section.. knowing that if i ever told my wife i was looking for gifts in the plus sized section.. i would die .. i found the right section… alllllll the way on the other side of the store

i told that sales rep.. wife told me cashmere + macy’s .. that is all i heard…. where? and she pointed me toward somethings.. something dress? something wth a turtleneck? something with v-neck? what is this cashmere? does wool count since cashemere is wool? i hate shopping… so.. i went to trying to find the material that matched the touch and feel? blasted synthetics… and poly weave wool whatever blah de blah… so i ended up getting her a button up gray one.. and a pink normal looking sweater ?

i then ran over to william sonoma to find something else that she had hinted at… but what they had was ghetto .. so we will go get that one in a few days i think…

note that all of this took like 15 minutes tops… the whole difference in how guys shop versus women… it is not to say it was not thoughtful… or that we rushed through it.. we just do not stop to chat with the sales staff, lok at decorations and look at other accessories and such… we know what we are looking for.. get it and leave. did i mention that i hate shopping

overall.. i think i did ok.

donald trump is a dork

what the heck is going on with the pageants lately… miss usa (tara conner), miss teen usa (katie blair), miss nevada (katie rees).. and actually.. does anyone even watch the shows anymore? even after jon benet and seeing little girls all dolled up .. weren’t we all just over watching pageants… not that i watched any in the first place… well.. except when miss korea won miss universe or something… parents made me watch that

in the current case…. miss usa doing cocaine, drinking and making out with miss teen usa .. who it would seem was also drinking….

also.. how come trump let miss usa stay but bounced miss nevada?

i was telling my wife that it was cause miss usa is gonna be the next mrs trump….. so that is why she got to stay. miss nevada apologized.. why not give her another chance…

wait.. taking tin foil cap off… i dreamt that i was blogging about some beauty pageant or something stupid like that… but then i realize that… i am in fact awake. what if all of this was a ploy by donald trump to get attention for himself and the next season of the apprentice?  or is it just cause ‘little miss sunshine’ is out and it was probably my favorite movie of this past year.. and i had to use a clip someplace

i think i liked ‘little miss sunshine’ so much because it put the pageant scene into a funny light… that a little girl doing the super freak dance… so wrong.. but so funny. i think the dance just shows the scale to which the pageants are out of control and what a stepford wife cookie cutter cult starting system it is…

theTunes

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