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i wish i had the job of being a technical consultant to the writers for tv shows…

i went through a whole segment of the last show ‘shut down’ where the asian hacker that did not understand how a datacenter worked was set to download and recover email that was delivered to someone by grabbing shadow files on the router…. the router !!!

my head almost blew up.

i mean.. if you are going to throw out a bunch of technical jargon, at least get the functionality of the network devices, email servers, software and hardware correct.

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compared to michael phelps… we are very similar…

height: 6’4″ — check
wingspan longer than height — he has 6’7″ wingspan .. i got 6’5.5″ wingspan
used to be in the water 6+ hours a day — check
swimmer — check — swam in high school, lifeguard, swimming instructor, club swimming at CU
adhd — check
ripped abs and barely any body fat… um … can we stop now…

actually.. that is about where it ends …

i have not swam more than a mile in a few years…
i cant physically bring myself to eat/consume 12000 calories every day

i am happy for him… cause mark spitz was such a putz and phelps seems like a genuinely nice guy …

ok… i like making ching chong jokes as much as anyone else does.. but that is cause i am one…

you probably have seen the following pix of the retarded national spain mens basketball team …

but that is not the best part… the national spain femail basketball team did the same slit eyes

you would have thought that with all the negative press… that the spaniards would have learned their lesson… but noooooooo

the idiot tennis team decided to jump in as well

mmmmmm…….

game on hispantinos …

there is a house by my parents church that probably has close to100 bird houses in the 2 trees in front of their house… just odd

saw this shirt walking to work … and thought …  you’re making me hungry

actually.. funny cause it is close to a chinese restuarant … but for us koreans, they can just switch it out to dogs.

so… if you work with me and ask a question… i am gonna refer you to the manual.  see if you have done your research before you ask..

this new guy did not and kept coming over and asking questions over and over… so he was given the answers

check it…

its on whitey

i was going to write and diagram mens room etiquette stuff but then the larry craig debacle happened.. and i was waiting for things to air out before posting about it… and the other is.. there are rules and then there are the ‘rules’ and you don’t talk about some of this… but here goes

the thing is.. you learn early on that there are rules and unsaid rules about going to the restroom as a man…

unlike women who go to the ladies room to talk about how cute the guy at the bar is… and chat it up… going to the mens room has 3 purposes… get the number 1 or number 2 going on… and let loose the gas … you know.. the f word.. and vomitting

growing up.. you learn quickly by observing the behaviour of other people and following suit… no questions… just do what everyone else is doing

so men… this is a refresher on the ‘rulesand for you ladies.. this should give you some perspective on why the larry craig thing is so creepy and way beyond the norn

no eye contact — never look at somebody.. give the obligatory nod and move on. you are not there to make friends

dont look down — look straight ahead or straight forward.. looking down gives off weird vibes about you checking the other guys package out

spacing — do not stand right next to another person if there is a way to leave at least 1 urinal in between… the more spaces the better. it is better to use a stall with a door if urinal spacing is an issue or there is a long wait or potential for shoulders touching (ick) .. also limits cross urinal splash back…

no talking — nuff said

no squeezing in between others — this means that if there are 5 urinals, and #1 and number #3 are being used.. then you do not go to #2 … way weird vibes. #4 is still marginal .. go to #5

pee downward — peeing straight into the urinal will cause splash back that looks like you pissed your pants
so.. you can start to see why the craig thing is so whack… more like george michael story than mishap…

for those with kids.. shield the eyes as much as possible and keep them from looking around too much… especially if you are at a broncos game .. and they have the trough style piss wall… make sure that you prepare your chil’ren first and make sure they are ready for something like a pg-13 movie…. nothing as pleasant as exposing your kids to 40 guys pissing together intos something like a kitchen sink

that is as much as i can write for now.. cause i am gonna go throw up now (purpose #3 …)

we were at elitches last week and as we were walking by the funny mirrors… you know.. the convex and concave curved mirrors that make you tall.. short.. fat… skinny… and generally warped…

well.. there was this girl that was in front of them… and near tears… and touching her ring ‘o fat around her belly and pinching her side to see how much flab was there…

she was there for a good 2 minutes as we had taken a seat a bit further down and taken a seat in the shade (99 degrees that day)

was this girl just not right in the head? forrest gump-esque … not realizing that it was not a real mirror…  has the objectification and media onslaught about what beauty is… caused this girl to be worried about her weight and appearance even to the point of breaking down in front of the funny mirrors…

hmmm .. no lesson here.. just thought it was sad and funny

well.. almost.. that would have been an option for the careless driving ticket that i got for a low speed accident i was in (paint on bumper got scraped)

so.. i went to my court date to see if they would reduce the charges/points…

well.. as i was sitting and waiting.. they have a room with an interpretor … you guess the language…  well.. the charges were.. driving without insurance, driving with a suspended license, not having a SSN (hmmm), having missed a previous court date and having a bench warrant issues…. but getting ALL of those charges dropped and given 2 point defective vehicle tickets…

well.. i had insurance, no injuries, have ssn, here legally, speak the language… so i got to keep my 4 point ticket.. and added $30 in court costs on top of the minimal fee…

i should have just mailed it in… what a waste of $30 and 2 hours of my life i can’t get back

ok… now that barry bonds has hit the 756*** mark to become the all-time leader in home runs… how much will them balls go for?

because of all the steroids and performance enhancing substances scandals… it looks like the lucky catchers of barrys balls (755*** to tie hank aaron and 756*** to break record) … are not going to make the millions that those that caught mcgwire balls made (i think the highest was over $3 million) they will be lucky to get $250,000 – $500,000…
and how much for every other ball going forward…

well.. i don’t want to get into all of the arguments about using *** cause of all the scandals and such… but come on…. each new generation has had better training, physical ability, and equipment…. than the previous… the parks have also been altered as well to be more pitcher friendly…

be it steroids, human growth hormones, flax seed oil….barry still had to go out there and hit the ball… being stronger may help make the ball go further.. but he still has to have the ability and reflex to hit the ball.

being on those ‘enhancers’ also makes you more injury prone… hmm all of those days on the DL… so he had less days to hit all those dingers… and speaking of dingers… all you haters will love that all the steroid use has made his head the size of a watermelon… and the family jewels are shrinking with every homer

there has been more coverage about lindsey blowhan and britney skank, the idiot helicopter pilots in arizona that crashed and burned… (note that they are also going to try to pin those deaths on the guy that caused the high speed chase … what???? ) than about the 23 koreans taken hostage that were there to volunteer medical aid… not to proselytize

arthostagesgroupap.jpg

yeah.. there are now 2 dead korean men that were kidnapped in afghanistan.. and also 5 more men and 16 women… way to go taliban… what ever happened to not harming women, children, elderly… i bet you thought you were 16 virgins closer to heaven now huh.. taliban man… and i guess the whole concept of keeping your timetable for killing hostages needs a little tweaking… come on.. we are going on 2 weeks now.

yeah… me no love taliban long time

also.. taking koreans hostage is real good leverage as it just focuses the rest of the world and non extremists against you… how is

maybe the lack of coverage is cause of the virginia tech shooter… (also south korean) and americans are chink’d out for the year.

there is a call to prayer… for the safe return of the missionaries that went on a humanitarian effort… to help the people of afganistan.. be the body of christ by leaving the comforts of home and going to a country where they did not know the language or fit in society as a majority were women.

maybe they were stupid for going cause they should have known better. maybe they should have expected that showing the love of christ in a culture that has lived in the muslim faith caused tension and they should have been more sensitive to the response they were going to get… wait…. when they go on these trips.. most understand that they are not going to be allowed into the country to preach or to share the gospel… but they still go… because they care about the people on a human level.. not a theological level.

this call to prayer goes to the body of christ… it is not a call for ‘your thoughts are with them’ or ‘things will work out in the end’ ‘i will pray for them — but not’ ‘i will keep them in my thoughts’ or those that do not understand the concept of all things working out for the greater good … cause they usually leave out the ‘for those that love the lord’

unless you are expecting a miracle… don’t pray.
unless you believe that what you are asking for will come true.. don’t pray
unless you are right with those around you (like you are worthy of taking communion)… don’t pray
if you are just praying for the sake of praying… don’t pray

don’t just pray because they are being held captive.. they need and needed prayer for the work they were doing…leaving behind good paying jobs and studies to help in feeding, teaching, providing medical aid, spending time with the afghanis

some are going to say that they were trying to push religion or korean brand of christianity on the afghans… but that was not their purpose for going

i am expecting that there are going to be more deaths before this is resolved… (i don’t think korean prayer is more better than american or germans…as some koreans seem to think… who have had their people taken and killed too)

this situation just sucks… nothing we can do but pray .. hope they send in some tae kwon do ninja delta force or something to save them.. and release videos of themselves beheading the taliban… or set the stage for more and more hostages if you start to cave to their demands….

well at least karzi has asked that the women be released…

keep updated on the situation over at beauty and depravity an excellent blog by pastor eugene cho

ok.. being a sysadmin and trying to fight spam and stupid users comes with the  territory…. but there was an intern that sent out a company wide spam for a good cause.. (as a word doc attachment no less) and to the entire corp address book (yes the whole global address list)

then… it started

random people started to reply-all saying… don’t reply-all (ummm by reply-all to tell us not to reply-all … don’t you defeat your own request) … well it was not just one person… it was 18.  and as a lot of us are on multiple distribution lists and aliases… we were getting multiple copies of the emails…

and then the flood gates open further.. the other interns thought it was funny.. and started reply-all’in with smart things like… “don’t send this to me” “could you send me the email again… i didn’t get the first one” “stop replying all”

yeah.. it was great….

as the loop of emails, out of office responses, and then a spoofed response from a few aliases that made it to some vendors… the emails hitting my blackberry was up to about 400 in the span of 35 minutes… i ended up with close to 1100 emails in the 4 hours before we killed all references on the mail servers

if i ever get a chance… the interns are gonna learn what junk punch means… and added to all of the pr0n and free stuff mailing lists out there

so.. last night… everything was too quiet.  i generally get about 500-600 emails a day.. and there is not a 10 minute period when the blackberry is not chirping or beeping.. but there was silence.

initially… i was enjoying it.  then i was getting worried… i thought it was cause i am short timing… and they shut down my acct or something.. but no.. the phone was working… signal was there… just no emails…

well.. appears that the blackberry network was down for the night….

the cool part of this… corp sent out an email.. letting us know that blackberry service was down… um …

that is like asking us to call you if the phone is down.  to run straight home if you break your legs… any of the hundreds of stupid things that generally non techie folks say and do..

how exactly were we supposed to get the emergent email that blackberry services were down… when emergency emails come to our blackberrys…

they could of.. they should have just sms or sent out a text blast… instead of making those of us that are addicted to our blackberry withdrawal shakes and random clicking of the keys and turning it on and off to see if it was working or not…

we need to have superman collect up all of the nuclear weapons and send them at the sun to destroy it…

wait…. that would only fuel the process further..

ever notice that there is one thing that makes the earth warm up on a daily basis… no matter what else is happening.. and when it is not there.. it is cold?

in spite of carbon dioxide levels (note that mars has had increase in carbon dioxide levels and is getting colder) or any other thing that humans do…

the sun… the big ball of nuclear fusion is the primary cause of global warming numbnuts.

if you look at the graphs on temperature changes.. sun spot and other solar activty matches global warming better than carbon dioxide…

funny thing is… more sun equals more vegetation.. which leads to more leaves dropping and decomposing.. releasing carbon dioxide… which after a certain time would match the global warming patterns .. but staggered..

another option.. more logging and clearing of forests… but wait.. the libs and environmentalists have quelled that option…

the second cause of global warming…. environmentalists that are keeping the dangerous vegetation from being trimmed back to prevent carbon dioxide production when bacteria and other organisms break fallen leaves and dead trees down…

and even if the earth temperature rises a couple of degrees… what is so bad about that….

what did they tell you about the earth millions and billions of years ago?  that the earth was way warmer than it is now.. that even alaska and siberia had jungles and dinosaurs roamed everywhere…

what do the environmentalists and al gore have against dinosaurs and 6ft dragon flies?  this is tempuraturism …  we as the smartest and most adaptable creatures can control our own climates in our homes and cars… animals can’t… it it is warmer.. we can just wear shorts all the time… that would not be so bad…

kids love dinosaurs.. why not give those species a change to evolve back into the ecosystem…

you know you have seen them…. small ones…. big ones… red ones, black ones, and even blue ones… you don’t want to admit it.. but you have even seen the skin color ones… with what look like real skin folds…

i am struggling to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth…. talking about those testicles… the scrotal sacks that dangle from the bottom of pickup trucks and other random vehicles…

why???

does it hurt if they drive over speed bumps too fast or bottom out?

this new trend is probably the weirdest in recent days…. overcompensating with a huge hemi truck and monster wheels and a set of balls hanging down… from the rear axle… great.

the confusing thing for me was.. it was a lady driving the truck… maybe driving down to trinidad colorado…

theTunes

  • above the golden state
  • anberlin
  • casting crowns
  • danyew
  • david crowder band
  • downhere
  • family force 5
  • fm static
  • hillsong london
  • hillsong united
  • jimmy needham
  • kutless
  • leeland
  • matt redman
  • matthew west
  • mikeschair
  • nevertheless
  • phil wickham
  • pillar
  • red
  • relient k
  • rush of fools
  • sanctus real
  • seven places
  • seventh day slumber
  • skillet
  • starfield
  • stellar kart
  • tenth avenue north
  • the classic crime
  • this beautiful replublic
  • thousand foot krutch

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